In South Africa, it is common place to hire domestic help. You can hire someone to live in and work full time for about $120-$160/month plus food, or a part-time worker for about $10/day. If you pay your worker higher than the market, they become accustomed to a higher wage and cannot replace these wages at the same level when you leave. It was unimaginable that we could pay someone so low for service, so at first we felt we would not hire anyone at all. After all, we did not have help at home. However, since the unemployment rate is near 40%, by hiring someone, we could create a job. So, we were convinced to go ahead and hire someone.
We hired Sylvia two months ago. She comes twice a week. I could tell after the first day that things were going to work well. I really liked her. She is very kind. I also did feel that we were going to help her by hiring her. She had to quit her previous job after her mother died. She worked at a B&B and they could not afford to have her off as long as required for her to take care of her mother’s affairs, so she had to quit. She was searching for work for 6 months before we found her. We hired her through an agency that does background and reference checks, etc.
So, on her first day I picked her up from the agency. She would not sit in the front with me, though I offered several times. She sat in the back. She felt it would be rude. Finally I had to tell her I preferred she sit in the front. I felt like a cab driver! Then she giggled and admitted she was much more comfortable in the front. My car is small…and she had to squeeze back there with Graham’s big ol’ car seat! Also, when she eats her meals, she eats at the counter. Only occasionally, I can convince her to eat at the table. Again, I think she thinks it’s impolite!
One additional benefit to Sylvia is that we provide her meals while she works. In fact, it is customary for us to prepare the meals for our worker. On her first day I let her know that I barely cook for myself…it’s a miracle I don’t starve to death (Graham, on the other hand, I cook for all the time!) and would prefer that she prepare her own meals. She had no problem with that. Thank goodness! I also gave her money to buy a nice new uniform to wear. We were told domestic helpers feel more comfortable and professional in a uniform.
Anyway, so she eats her meals here. For breakfast she eats about 4 pieces of toast, an egg, tea, and orange juice. For lunch, she eats 2 ham sandwiches, some cookies, and more orange juice. She takes her lunch around 3. We go through a loaf of bread and carton of orange juice in a bout two days. Based on the amount she eats and the times, it seems as though she is really stocking up for the evening. It is very sad. We always send her home with leftovers as well. It’s great for us as food never goes bad, and obviously such a benefit to her. Especially after we have parties and things, we have tons of leftovers. Today, I’m sending her home with a huge pasta salad I made yesterday. It is customary to pay the help once a month. When Sylvia first started, she requested we pay her daily as she would have no money to get to work otherwise. :(
We are so happy with her. I don’t know what we are going to do without her when we go home. She does such a great job. In case you are wondering, her English is wonderful. We just are sure to talk a bit slowly since not only are we speaking her second language, but we have accents! However, she has sent me several text messages with perfect English, no spelling errors. I found that pretty impressive…better than Joel even (ha-ha just kidding, baby!).
I do have to tell you one quirk about having domestic help. When you have people in your house, you have to have a bit of patience. We are always searching for things, especially in the kitchen. On the first day, she kept asking where things went. So, finally I just told her, “Do your best and we’ll figure it out.” Otherwise, I would have been holding her hand all day. So, we are always searching for things. Oh…here is the spatula…right with the vases!! LOL My personal favorite thing she does is move things intentionally. For instance when she dusts, she moves our framed photos all around...just a touch. When she shakes out the rugs, she puts them back in the wrong place. The reason she does this is so we know she cleaned them. I know that’s why. It’s so deliberate. I think it’s hilarious!! Joel doesn’t think it’s so funny. He calls me when he gets out of the shower because there is no rug for him to step on…LOL.
Shortly after she began working here, we noticed it would take her a long time to do dishes. So, we made a special effort to load the dishwasher before she would come. When it again took her a long time to do the dishes, we realized she was taking them out of the dishwasher to wash them. Needless to say, we have since asked her not to do that. On occasion, if she has lots to do, she will run the dishwasher. Otherwise, she prefers hand-washing. We think she is worried she will run out of things to do or something.
The last thing I want to tell you about is Christmas. So as I explained above, we are not supposed to pay her too much, but we can give her bonuses and food, etc. So, the day before Christmas Eve was her last day of work before the holiday. I went to Toys ‘r Us to be sure she could give her granddaughter a Christmas. Her granddaughter is 5. So, we got her a doll baby (the prettiest I could find) who talks and cries, an extra outfit for the baby, a princess dress up outfit her, and a paddle ball gift set. We didn’t forget Sylvia. We got her a purse, necklace, earrings, and a bracelet. We also gave her a two week bonus and two weeks paid time off. When I gave it to her, she cried. She told me she was so happy that her granddaughter would have a nice Christmas. She also was so surprised we bought gifts for her. She said she “would look like a lady at church.” Isn’t that so sweet?? She told us she would never forget us. I said, “That’s good because we need you to come back.” LOL So, we dropped her off at the bus stop that day and told her she must tell her granddaughter the gifts were from Santa. She texted me on Christmas day telling me we “changed her life and she’s never seen her granddaughter so happy.” She’s also brought it up several times today. For so little, we were able to “change her life?” Now, isn’t that what Christmas is all about??
Here is a picture of her with Graham. I was on the phone with my landlord one day and came out to see her straightening Graham’s room with Graham in tow.
This if how many of the African women carry their little ones. Graham seemed cozy. She is one of the few people Graham feels comfortable with.
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