Gliding

Didn't want to leave on a negative, so here's something that always makes me feel good. I love gliding with Graham on my lap. He like to touch body parts and have me name them. I'm a human toy. His favorite is my eye, which he pokes while exclaiming, "Eye!" "Yes, Grahamie, that's mommy's eye...ouch!"

We certainly have our tender moments too. Joel snapped this pic a couple days ago right after nap time.

It reminded me of this pic from around the time Graham was 4 months.

We'll be doing a lot of this over the next 35 hours or so. Graham will likely be spending lots of time on mommy's lap as we glide through the air.

On that note, please send out prayers or vibes (whichever you prefer) for a peaceful and safe flight for our family.

See you on American soil!

Just when you think you know someone…

Let’s all just let out a collective sigh here. *sigh*

Okay, so I mentioned the other day I don’t like to talk about negative situations as it bums me out. I feel the need to here as there is much written on this blog about this person, so I feel the need to tell the whole story. I will do my best to keep this brief, but it probably won’t be.

Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia.

*sigh*

It is customary here to hire a domestic worker. Joel and I were apprehensive to open our home to someone, but decided to take advantage of housekeeping at such a reasonable price, as well as help the local economy by creating a job.

So, Sylvia came to work for us November 2008. While she wasn’t perfect we were satisfied with her. She cleaned very thoroughly, but was slow and had a rough way about her that resulted in $1000 worth of damages to our/our landlord’s property (dropped and iron on a carpet, broke a vacuum, vases, etc.). I know you’re thinking I’m crazy already. However, she was great with Graham. If I needed some time, she would play with him all day, working on puzzles, encouraging him to walk, etc. She really seemed to genuinely care for him. That was more important to me than some damages. Also, I knew her family depended on this income as she was the sole provider, so though she wasn’t perfect I couldn’t bear to let her go.

Unfortunately, last May she was run over by a taxi bus. To read that full story, click here.

Long story short, she was nearly killed. Thank God she wasn’t. However she suffered a lot of injuries, her broken neck being the worst. We paid out her leave and gave her 6 weeks of disability pay (4 required after 1 yr of work, she worked 7 mos). On top of it we hired her daughter, Sharlotte, who was unemployed so her family would not lose out on the income.

When they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree," they were not talking about Sharlotte.” Sharlotte was terrible at cleaning. A few small examples, after working here for a few months (16 hrs/wk) I asked her if she had ever cleaned the shower since it was moldy, she responded , “No, how do I do that?” I also found out she cleaned our cutting boards by wiping them off with a dry towel. Um, that’s not sanitary. She burned holes in clothes while ironing, broke dishes, etc, etc, etc. Just awful. She didn’t have the redeeming quality of being good with Graham either. After she worked here for several months, I asked her to look after Graham one day, while he was napping. I gave her strict instructions, that he was napping and to call me if he wakes up and do not get him out of his crib. It just so happened to be the one and only time Graham woke up early from his nap and of course she got him out of his crib and didn’t call me. I came home to discover a sticky baby. Then I noticed his ibuprofen bottle that I opened the previous night was half empty. When I asked her about it she said while playing with it unsupervised he spilled it on the floor. I had a lot of questions, like, “Why didn’t you follow my instructions and call me when he woke up? Why was he unsupervised? Why did you let him play with medicine? How did he get the child proof open? Why didn’t you tell me what was going on when I got home instead of having me figure it out on my own? And if he didn’t consume any why was his face sticky?” UGH!! Anyway, I was beyond pissed off and vowed never to leave Graham with her again for 2 seconds and I haven’t.

Honestly we would have fired her, BUT this happened last month and we knew we were leaving and figured let’s just get through this last month. I even said to Joel, “If there’s one less person in this world that hates us, then we’re better off.”

Guess what? It didn’t do us much good.

Today was Sharlotte’s last day. She showed up an hour late with Sylvia in tow. So, I let them in of course. I told Sylvia I was surprised to see her and she said, “yes, but you’re not just gonna leave me like this.” Um, what? I will summarize for you, she showed up demanding I find her a new place of employment and give her a few months pay. She blamed me for her accident as she was on her way to work. Here's a tip: blame the drunken taxi driver, not the person employing you so you can provide for your family.

Once I found out why she was here, I told her I was hurt that after all we had done for them that this is the way we’d be treated. We spent hundreds of dollars on her family for xmas last year, bought Easter and birthday gifts for her granddaughter, sent them home with food every time they were here. Last week, I sent Sharlotte home with a bag full of wrapped xmas present for her granddaughter since we wouldn’t be here. Even Joel’s parent brought gifts so they could get a taste of our culture. After Sylvia’s accident we visited her in the government hospital. It was not for the faint of heart believe me. Maybe that’s why we were the only white people in the entire place. We recommended Sylvia to two different families who tried out her services (before her accident). They ended up being less understanding about her rough way of cleaning and didn’t hire her.

Needless to say, I was hurt. I asked Sylvia to leave. She said no. So, I went into the bedroom wing of our house behind our security doors, called Joel to come home, and called our security company to remove them. The security company came. Sharlotte and Sylvia left, threatening to get lawyers and ranting and raving. The security company left. Then Joel came home and gave me a hug. I needed it. Then he headed back to work.

I called the placement agency just to make sure we absolutely paid them everything we owed and they indicated we paid more than our legal requirement. So, Joel met up with Sharlotte to pay her what we owed her for November. It's a shame too as we were going to give Sharlotte a month’s pay when we left which now we are not. They also lost out on future job opportunities. We had a friend looking to hire Sylvia as a babysitter per our recommendation. Joel was referring her son around GM hoping to help him find work. Additionally, the placement agency has now taken them out of the pool. I feel bad about that, but there are surely more deserving people. It just goes to show that being greedy doesn’t pay.

We have heard story after story like this since we have been here, but thought we had someone special. I guess not. We were just a big dollar sign to them. If we had it to do over again 100x, we would never hire a domestic worker. I’ll clean my own damn house, thank you very much! It’s not worth it!!!! Her problems became our problems. We began to feel like a charity, paying people we didn’t even want to work for us. In the end, it wasn’t even appreciated.

Unfortunately this has happened and leaves us on a sour note, but at least it makes us that much more eager to get home!!

Graham Says Goodbye

Like Mom and Dad, Graham had a number of important people to bid farewell.

Sylvia came by the other day and spent the day with Graham while I packed, ran errands, and caught up on my blogging. It was nice for me as I got lots done, but mostly I had her over so she could say goodbye to Graham. Back when she used to work for us, they spent a lot of time together. She adored him. Anyway, they had a great day. Sylvia is doing much better, so it was nice to see that as well.

The one on the right is Sylvia's daughter who has cleaned for us since Sylvia's accident.

Stephani was Graham’s Physical Therapist here. She loved Graham so much. She was always bringing over new toys and things that she saw that she thought would help him. What struck me was not the gifts, but that she was thinking of him on her time off. She was great to me as well since I was really the therapist. She showed me the exercises and encouraged and supported me. While Graham’s issues may be minor in comparison to some, it has still been challenging. Graham has come a long way. In fact, she had quit coming to see him he was doing so well. Obviously she was a big part of that. She did make it a point to come and see him one last time.


Graham made her a card and got her this figurine.

Stephani once again proved her thoughtfulness by bringing a gift for Graham. You can tell she knows him well as she got him a book. Not just any book, a famous South African book. It is a collection of poems about various flowers that bloom here and the fairies that inhabit them.

It has the most amazing illustrations you have ever seen, many of them including famous South African landmarks. A collector’s item for sure.


Frances was another important person to Graham. She was his Audiologist. Graham’s ears are always acting up (getting fluid in them, etc.) mostly likely due to his allergies. She monitored his ears regularly as well as ensuring he stays on track with his speech development. Can’t hear, can’t speak properly, you know? Anyway, we dropped by to say goodbye to her this week. She was so sad saying Graham’s one of her very favorites, the sweetest little boy. I couldn’t agree with her more! :) She collects bears and has many of them in her office that Graham loves to get his little hands on. We added one more to the collection, as well as a card similar to the one we made for Stephani above.

She didn’t forget Graham either. (Can you believe all these gifts??!) She also got him books. They have large pictures, flaps, and all kinds of interactive things, so Graham will surely love them. We are saving them for the plane ride.

We have also been busy, busy with play dates lately so Graham can say goodbye to all his little friends and I can say goodbye to all the mommies. I wish I had more pictures, but it’s pretty hard to take pics on a play date as I’m sure many moms can understand!

As you can see, Graham has also made a lot of important friendships here in South Africa. He may not remember his time here, but he was definitely loved.

Thank goodness for modern technology as I know we’re just an email away.

Bon Voyage Party

Last Friday our friends had a going away party for us at our favorite restaurant. It meant so much to us to be able to get together with our friends again. They have added so much to our time here. From getting together for braais, to comparing travel notes, and just chatting, it has been great getting to know all of them.

The party was a blast.

Special thanks to Tami for organizing. :)

Much to our surprise, they brought gifts. We felt a little sheepish accepting these gifts as it was so unexpected, however I must share because the gifts were fantastic.

A stunning hand painted and glazed, ceramic bowl from a local artist.

A coffee table book of amazing African photography.

A “Wolfs” South African license plate. It looks plain white in the pic due to the super flash, but you can see what it looks like from the pic below it.

A framed photo of Graham and Katie Unwin, his best little friend. Didn’t take a pic of the frame, but here is the pic.

Thanks again to all for coming, the gifts, and of course the friendship. We will surely keep in touch. Good thing we all have blogs! :)

Not Me! Monday

I’m participating in MckMama’s blog carnival again this week, confessing some things I did not do! To read more check out MckMama’s blog.

Written by Graham today:

Daddy did not dress me yesterday. Nope!! He certainly wouldn’t just throw a fleece and shoes (that have a hole in them, by the way) on OVER my footed sleeper and call it good, reasoning that I’d be taking a nap soon anyway. Even Mommy can’t argue with that logic!

Mommy did not buy Christmas CD’s and has not been listening to them since Halloween. She does not sing them in the car wherever we go. She does not have an awful, awful voice.

I am not SO excited that we leave to go back home this Friday. So, I wouldn't be looking forward to giggles with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends.

My mommy and daddy are not wondering whether I will behave on the 20+ hour plane ride (30 hours of travel). Nope! They have pure faith in me!

And the award goes to....

Me, me, me,…and me again. I received four more blog awards in the last month. I’m finally getting around to blogging them forward. Before I go into the specifics, can I just say that blog awards crack me up? Kind of the way celebrities crack me up with all their award shows- SAGs, Tonies, Grammies, Oscars, Golden Globes, yadda, yadda. However, I do smile when I get an award because at least it means someone was amused, entertained, inspired or what have you, so a big fat THANKS to those who thought of me.

The first two awards came from Tamara at The Unexperienced Mom. Her family recently added a second child and she’s learning motherhood can be just as much of a learning experience as the first time around.

The Heartfelt Blogger Award

This award is all about blogs that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so I’m passing it to:

A Baby Maybe
We are the Friesens
Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
The Juggling Act of Life
All About Alex
Dinkypops No More

Rules: Display the award logo. Nominate up to 9 blogs that make you feel comfy or warm inside. Link to your nominees. Let them know they have been nominated by commenting. Link to the person from whom you received the award.

The Lemonade Stand Award



This award is for bloggers who have a great attitude or gratitude, so I’m giving it to all of my fellow American friends on an expatriate assignment for GM. I think we have all shown a great attitude and gratitude over our time here.

Bell Safari Adventure
The Comiskey’s
McCarty’s African Adventures
Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Rules: Put the Lemonade Stand Logo on your blog, or within your post. Nominate 10 blogs with great attitude and gratitude. Link the nominees within your post. Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

Honest Scrap Award


I got this award for Melis at The Zookeeper’s Diary. She’s the mom of a little boy and twin girls. How these moms of twins find time to blog, I’ll never figure out, but I do enjoy reading.

Honestly? Honestly, I’ll pass it to these honest blogs:

JennEpper
The Random Blog by Me
Lauren’s Blog
CliffsVic
Ravings of a Mad Housewife

Rules: Thank the person who gave you the award and link to their blog. Share 10 honest things about yourself. Present this award to 7 other whose blogs you find brilliant in design or content.

The Gorgeous Blogger Award


I got this award from Cat. She’s a South African mom a little girl and twin boys that stumbled across our blog. We found we have lots in common in regards to our kiddos and have enjoyed chatting via the blogosphere.

Rules:Tell 6 things about yourself that your readers don't know and then award it to 6 other gorgeous bloggers.

I’m passing it to:

4 Little Men and Girly Twins
Jenny Mac
My Little Life
The Zookeeper’s Diary
The Unexperienced Mom
Sherman’s Army

Now that I have all the rules and distribution out of the way, here are “10 honest things” about me for the Honest Scrap and the Gorgeous Blogger Awards.

1. I am a huge animal lover. Growing up we always had tons of pets. At one point, we had 9 cats, a dog, a rabbit, and fish. I think pets taught me responsibility and care for living creatures. I remember I would actually say, “Excuse me,” if I bumped into one of them. LOL My cat, Joey was my baby. I got him when I was just 7, and he lived over 20 years. I miss him very much, but am so thankful we had so much time together. I look forward to having pets again one day. Probably after our next baby, and most likely a cat.

2. I hate shopping. I am not a good female in that way. I don’t like crowds, don’t like lines, don’t like trying things on, and most of all I hate parting with my money. I need a new wardrobe, but never go shopping.. I have way too many articles of clothing that I got in middle school and still wear. Um, yeah, I think Stacy and Clinton from “What Not to Wear” would not approve!!

3. When I was younger I was TROUBLE! Starting in Middle School, I became quite the trouble maker. I skipped school, got suspended for fighting, never did my homework, told my teachers off, smoked…bad, bad news. At the end of Middle School my GPA was 1.8. Awesome, right? In high-school I decided to get my butt in gear and got straight A’s all the way through, graduating first in my class, with a GPA of 4.1. Then, I got my Engineering degree and my MBA. People always ask my how that happened. The crazy thing is all along that was the plan. My teachers in Middle School would ask me what I was going to do with my life. I’d say, “When I get to high-school and it counts I start doing better, and go to college.” They thought I was full of it. Looking back I can see why, it was a big turnaround! Lots of good those degrees do me as a housewife!! Ha!

4. I love being a mommy. Motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hate to admit it, but before I had Graham I was getting a bit bored with day to day life. Work, home, work, home. I loved my time with Joel, but it seemed we were often trying to get through the week and living for vacations. Any gap or hole in my life was filled when I had Graham. I live for every day with my family. Our little family. The best thing in the world.

5. Part of the reason I think motherhood has improved my life so much was it was essentially a career change. Now that I have been away from it for a year and a half I realize I wasn’t in the best line of work. However, I am ready to go back to work part-time. I know I don’t want to go back to work in a manufacturing environment. So what now?? I have some ideas, but the MI job market is terrible. As for my other ideas, I don’t mind a pay cut in exchange for a better fit, but wow, how does working for 1/3 of my previous wage sound. Mickey D’s anyone??

6. I’m a pretty strong person. I can handle a lot and usually on my own. In fact sometimes it’s hard for me to let people in when things aren’t going well. I share everything with Joel, naturally, but that’s pretty much where it stops. For instance, when I had Graham and he wasn’t nursing well, despite working with three different lactation consultants, we didn’t share with anyone. People would be over and I’d excuse myself to nurse and it went like this: try to nurse, fail, cry, pull myself together, pump, bottle feed, put on a happy face, and return acting like everything was normal. This went on for a month before I finally told people he was getting bottles of expressed milk. I’m not really sure why I’m like this. I think I try to be positive and not dwell of things that upset me. So, when I share problems with people then it’s more time I have to spend talking about and thinking about that problem. Or maybe it’s because I don’t wan to be vulnerable and let people in. Or maybe I’m afraid of what people are going to say. See? I told you I don’t know why I’m like this. But I do know sometimes my friends get annoyed when they find out 6 months later something terrible I was going through that I didn’t tell them about.

7. I love the Red Wings. Huge fan. When I was 15, my boy-friend at the time was obsessed with them and the only way to see him was to watch games with him. He watched every one and they’re on about 4x/wk. It stuck. Long after that relationship ended, my love affair with the Wings goes on and on. My favorite player of all time is of course Yzerman. As for current players, I’m a sucker for Holmstrom. He takes a lot of crap in front of the net, scores a lot of goals, and really gets under players’ skins. It would take a lot of guts to do that. He seems to take everything in stride and have an awesome sense of humor.

8. After I gave birth to Graham I became Super Woman. Not for the reasons listed above, but the actual giving birth part. Very empowering. Labor didn’t go at all like I thought it would. I thought it would last about 15 hours, I would get an epidural, and if I was lucky no C-section. It didn’t go like that. I was in labor less than 3 hours, no drugs, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, Joel has me on video seconds after Graham’s birth saying, “Wow, that was a piece of cake.” I was very fortunate things went like that, and who knows how it will go next time around? I hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying any of this. My point is this, after I went through that I really felt like I could do anything. I used to be such a wuss about needles and blood draws. Now, not so much. The other day I went to get a vaccine and they stuck me while I was filling out paperwork. I didn’t even look as they poked me. There was a time I had to be held down for a blood draw. *blush*

9. I love all things “body gross.” I love watching surgeries on TV, even while eating spaghetti. I love fart jokes, and when Graham toot toots around the house. Definitely a mom of a boy. My husband may or may not have farted on a few occasions because I was crying and he couldn’t get me to cheer up and knew that was a fail proof method. The ironic thing is I am beyond discreet about this stuff. I have never farted in front of someone in my whole life (except baby hood and I don’t remember, so surely it didn’t happen). Maybe that’s why it amuses me so much??

10. Apparently I talk (write?) too much. If you made it this far, props to you!!!!

Overheard

The following exchange between Daddy and Graham was overheard tonight.

*Graham farts*

Daddy- Whew, that was a big fart. Who put the fart in your pants? Huh? Who?

Graham- Daddy

Love that kid!